The Example:
David drove up from Cannes in the dusk. The wind had fallen and he left the car in the usual place and walked up the path to where the light came out onto the patio and the garden. Marita came out of the doorway and walked toward him. — Ernest Hemingway
Analysis: Such an interesting syntax. It’s a run-on sentence, and yet it feels simple and clean. The progression of events and the progression of the words are perfectly mirrored. I think they key to everything I’ve been reading so far is the richness and the complexity — think, “so little and yet so much.”
The Exercise:
Wes pulled into the farm at dusk. The clouds had moved to the edge of the horizon and he shut his truck door and walked across the grass towards the squatting frame of the farmhouse with its soft edges. Magdalene came to the doorway and dried her hands.
Analysis: I didn’t hit this one at all. The key to this is the imagery itself, which I’m not mimicking — I’m only copying syntax, not pictures.